Life has mysterious ways. It’s been an ugly time for some of us, crowded with misfortune and some twisted intentions. I can’t avoid moving down from the superficial layer that some even avoid and as much as I can approach life I can do with death. Spontaneous images surrounded by black episodes populate many of the complicated paths of my spirit. I wonder about the outcome though.

Everything started last year. Then, the earthquake came to remind us again how short life is, to tell us one more time to profit life, smile and enjoy whoever and wherever, to teach us how to love more and to hate less. It came to change a complete country.

Farewells are also included in this quest. I have been to many of them, even to my own one a couple of times. I have also missed a few, mostly in Bonn. Some important and beautiful people are far away from me, really far away like Felipe is. I guess I am lucky the world is so small and we can still have a chat from time to time in my dreams. I can profit those moments to laugh for a while with some of the many stupid comments he used to make to see a small smile coming from my mouth, the hundreds of jokes and his special way of making fun of someone, particularly of my sister and I. Some precious and abundant targets you have, don’t you?.

Perhaps the most interesting are the internal farewells. I have been just going thru them right from the bottom of my soul. It is the first time I have the chance to experience such scorpionic feelings. Those are black and intense feelings, sometimes sadness, others pure and total jealousy, hate or mistrust. Unfortunately I can’t escape right now from this deadly instinct. I don’t know how to fight against myself. The links are collapsing by themselves and I have done my part as well, cutting communication. It is imperative to light up the anguish and reveal the destructive emotions, so I can go back to the basics and perhaps reach heaven one day.

Otherwise, I am waiting to see some new adventures or the start of a new revolution in the future. After all, whenever you bring so much death you have the chance of the rebirth and the creation of a new fate together with new discoveries. Even so it is a tough time when you have to change your skin, it feels like burning sometimes and from time to time you believe you can’t hold it anymore; even more, you tell to yourself: fuck! I can’t overcome this doomed destiny. Then you must remember Mars and all the great willpower and strong heart it has given you, just like trees do, you need long roots towards the boiling center of the earth to be able to cross the sky with the leaves.

Finally, yesterday was a long day, too much work to do. I was buying the bike, shopping, painting, cleaning, cooking, etc. I was completely tired, the whole day. Feeling a lack of energy that made me go back home at 1 on a Saturday night, which is extremely rare for me. I didn’t understand what was going on with me until this morning, when I got to read the news from my sister. While I was reading the email, I couldn’t avoid dropping tons of tears and as I write now I still can’t avoid really wanting to be there with you and I remember one more time how short life is, how hard it is to keep smiling and how great values of this life (the small things) are hidden for some of us. They say it is a gift from heaven, to lose and to suffer, to be able to apprecite what we have. I guess I can just ask you to stay longer among us. I really want to see you making fun of me once again. I really want to see you changing your skin one more time, as you have done it already a few times with your powerful star.

Love