Living is a flow, a flow of people, events, experiences, ideals
and during this flow we learn about ourselves and transform our lives
we reflect on our actions and decisions
we might not agree with all of them anymore
but there they are
as milestones of who we were

We always need fine tuning though
Fine tuning is an art, an art that needs time
It’s finding that inner balance again after you have changed your thinking
It’s what happens in the aftermath, when the waters are clear again
It’s the step after using our cognitive flexibility

I came across the idea of cognitive flexibility not long ago
In psychology, this is key to happiness
It’s the ability to see beyond
and realise people live their lives
realise their actions follow their state of consciousness
and we can hardly influence what they do
In spiritual terms it’s about accepting and non-attachment
It’s a practice and a way of being

If cognitive flexibility allows us to integrate new realities
and understand new circumstances out of our control
Fine tuning let us materialise those learnings
It’s like pouring new water into a cup
so that the cup can shape the water

Now, you might be thinking that cognitive flexibility means forgetting your identity
losing yourself in other people’s opinions, ideals and desires
deluding your boundaries and becoming a blind follower
well, not at all

Cognitive flexibility and fine tuning are about distance
In aquarian terms, it’s about seeing the world with a wide and objective lens
it’s about separating yourself from those realities
without attachment nor immersion
so that you can truly see

Let’s put it this way. If someone is aggressive with you, it’s most likely not against you
It’s most likely against themselves and their unhappiness
It’s their state of consciousness
and you can indeed set boundaries, but boundary-setting is not the centre of attention at this point
here it’s about seeing what you did not see before